A personal essay uses personal experience and observation in order to provide insight about the world. This essay is meant to argue a revelation you experienced. In this case, you are going to explain how, through personal experiences, you have come to understand the definition of community as well as your role in this community. As the writer, you are trying to teach your readers about the life lesson you discovered through this revelation (think theme!).
Depending on your student genetics, this might be the most challenging essay you write because there is not a formula for constructing the essay. The qualities of personal essay are limitless: persuasive, subjective, narrative, inventive, descriptive, evolutionary. However, on the surface level this essay is not that much different than the other essays you have written in class; your primary goals should be to present your readers with insight into something you believe about the world and supply evidence to support that wisdom. In general, your essay will contain these components:
Theme: Essay has a unifying focus and purpose that indicates the importance of the insight/message to the reader. It has a central theme that makes a statement about the human experience or society as whole.
Style: The paper is honest and enthusiastic. The language is natural yet thought-provoking. It brings the topic to life. The reader feels a strong sense of interaction with the writer and senses the person behind the words. Writing is smooth, skillful, and coherent. Sentences are strong and expressive with varied structure.
Support: Essay provides real-life examples to support the message or insight of the essay. The support is provided in vivid details so the reader understands the significance. The support comes from original and unique sources that are memorable to the reader rather than cliché or mundane.
Definition and Purpose (the statement) A personal statement is a brief text that describes who you are as an individual. Generally, there are two purposes behind a personal statement. The first is to express who you are as an individual and how you view the world around you. The second is to explain how you understand this to be true.
For example, I might feel compelled to use my experiences with competitive swimming in my personal statement. In order for me to use swimming successfully, I would need to explain to my audience why swimming has offered me valuable life lessons; explain what swimming has taught me about myself; explain how swimming has helped me understand the world and how I can be an active participant in it.
Although your personal statement is an extension of your resume, it should not repeat things from the resume. That is redundant and boring for your audience. Instead, it should reveal a deeper side of you that may not be recognizable from the skills addressed in the resume.
If we go back to my swimming example, this would mean that I would want to explain specific experiences or moments with swimming. I would not want to list all the teams I have swam with or coached for.
What evidence or personal experience did the writer describe to support their message?
What was the message the writer was attempting to portray?
Based on the personal statement, what is the personality of the writer? How do you know?
What was unique about the writing style?
Every strong personal statement should have a metaphor. An experience, passion, object that is compared to life in order to offer a greater message.
What were the metaphors in these personal essays?
What was the writer passionate about or what was their experience?
How was this compared to the world around them in order to offer a greater message?
Have the students create a metaphor for their own lives.
Drafting Today you will be drafting your personal statement. Please create a new Google document and save it in your Advisory folder. Title the document Personal Statement and the current academic year (example: Personal Statement 2014). You may not use any personal statements created in previous years unless you are a senior. Other general information:
one to two pages in length
essay format with indented paragraphs, no title
written in first person (not academic third person)
utilizes many components of personal narrative (sensory details, figurative language, characterization, etc.)
generally in response to a prompt
You can begin writing your personal statement in three ways. One way is to Google a college or university you think you might want to apply to in the future. Find the admission office’s most recent personal statement prompt and answer it. The second option is to write personal statement about a discipline you are passionate about. The third option is to select a prompt from below:
Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn? (from Stanford University)
The ancient Romans started it when they coined the phrase “Carpe diem.” Jonathan Larson proclaimed “No day but today!” and most recently, Drake explained You Only Live Once (YOLO). Have you ever seized the day? Lived like there was no tomorrow? Or perhaps you plan to shout YOLO while jumping into something in the future. What does #YOLO mean to you? (from Tufts University)
Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (University of Pennsylvania)
In the spirit of adventurous inquiry, pose a question of your own. If your prompt is original and thoughtful, then you should have little trouble writing a great essay. Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, citizen of the world, or future citizen of the University of Chicago; take a little risk, and have fun. (University of Chicago)
Revision First sentence: Consider the following examples from student essays. What is interesting about each sentence? What does it suggest about the writer? Write down your own opening lines. Read it out loud. Consider the appeal and revise.
Unlike many mathematicians, I live in an irrational world; I feel that my life is defined by a certain amount of irrationalities that bloom too frequently, such as my brief foray in front of 400 people without my pants.
I almost didn't live through September 11th, 2001.
When I was in eighth grade I couldn't read.
While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe?
The spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as I stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions.
I had never seen anyone get so excited about mitochondria.
I stand on the riverbank surveying this rippled range like some riparian cowboy—instead of chaps, I wear vinyl, thigh-high waders and a lasso of measuring tape and twine is slung over my arm.
I have old hands.
Big Picture: What is my metaphor? What message does my metaphor reveal to my readers? How does my metaphor reveal this?
Descriptive Language: According to medical science there are five senses: taste, feel, see, smell, hear. In literature and writing, a sixth is added. The sixth sense is often times referred to as organic or sense of being. Have you ever walked into a room and instantly realized the people in it were just talking about you? Have you ever felt a sense of foreboding only to then have something terrible happen or receive bad news? That innate sense is considered the sixth sense in writing. Reread your paper and consider areas that would be enhanced using sensory details. Share and offer feedback at the end of class.